Never whole again
by Jemintra
Summary: The aftermath of a great battle in the Shire mainly focused on Merry and Estella. Please try 2 go easy on me this is my very first fanfic and i'm not very good yet. AU warning.


I know, I know, this doesn't go along with the story at all. But please, try to go along with it.  
  
End of the largest battle ever seen in the Shire. In fact, the only battle in the Shire. Over night the remaining army of Orcs and Uruk-Hai had come seeking revenge upon anyone they could find. Mainly anyone in their way. They had come to the borders of Buckland, and had attacked.  
  
Estella Bolger crawled out from underneath some debris, coughing and sputtering. She stood up and looked around, shaking dust from her curly light-brown hair. Everything was still and quiet, except for the occasional moans of dying Hobbits and Orcs. She wandered around, trying to find someone to help her when she ran straight into none other than Rosie Gamgee. Rosie's face was streaked with soot and her hair was mussed and hanging in her face. She pushed her bangs away hurriedly and said, "Oh, it's so good to see a familiar face. Have you seen Sam?" Estella shook her head, then suddenly remembered her own love and fiancée, Merry Brandybuck. She gasped and brought her hands to her face, then ran off. She could hear Rosie behind her, but she couldn't stop. She kept running and running, yelling out her love's name, but to no avail. Then she ran straight into something large and dark knocking her backwards.  
  
She looked up and gasped as she saw a HUGE human, with dark hair. He was wearing royal-looking clothes and a large silver crown. She recognized him from Merry's descriptions as Aragorn, King of Gondor, so she dropped to her knees and bowed. She felt a hand on her chin lifter her up, then a deep voice said, "Do not bow to me. I am looking for some of my dear friends. You wouldn't happen to know Frodo Baggins, would you? Or perhaps Meriadoc Brandybuck, or Peregrine Took, or Samwise Gamgee?" Estella quietly cleared her throat, then said, "My name is Estella Bolger sir, soon to be Estella Brandybuck." Aragorn nodded and said, "So I think that you would be looking for Merry?" Estella nodded, then her eyes filled up with tears involuntarily when she said, "I don't know where he is. I'm so worried." Then she felt a soft hand touch her rather grubby little face, then a just as soft voice saying, "Do not cry. I'm sure he'll be alright." She looked up, then her eyes widened as she saw a real live elf in front of her. Queen Arwen, with long wavy perfect hair and a beautiful flawless complexion, was holding a handkerchief to her, of all people. Estella accepted the handkerchief with a grateful smile, and then cleaned up her face as best she could. Then Aragorn said, "We are searching for Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry. Do you think you could help us?" Estella nodded, and then set off to find Merry with a new determination.  
  
A few hours later that determination was all but lost, and Estella was becoming quite desperate. She was just about to give up when she tripped over something for the third time that hour. Grumbling, she looked back to see what had gotten in her way, and when she saw it she gasped. It was Merry! He was lying on the ground, light brown-blonde hair mussed, and dirty. He was very pale, and had cuts and bruises all over his face. As she began to look further down at his chest and then she almost screamed. He had a large gash starting at his right shoulder all the way down to the left hip. His whole torso was a blur of blood. Even as Estella took him into her arms she knew there was no saving him. She looked down at his pain filled face all smeared with blood and wondered, 'Why? Why does it have to end this way?' She began to cry, and at the same time rain began to fall. The blood gently began washing off, and as Estella looked up at the sky she heard a small groan. She looked down to see Merry stirring ever so slightly. He opened his eyes, ever so slowly, ever so painfully. Estella whispered, "Merry. Merry-love, wake up." His (AN: incredibly beautiful and gorgeous) blue-green eyes opened a little bit more, and he looked up at Estella, slowly mouthing her name. He kept mouthing her name, until he whispered, "Es-t-tella." She smiled gently and said, "Don't wear yourself out Dearest. You're going to get better I promise." Merry tried to shake his head but ended up coughing instead. His coughing got worse and worse until a thin stream of blood escaped from his mouth. Eventually he calmed down and he said, "No, no, no. Listen to me. I'm sorry I'll have to miss our wedding. I never wanted it to be this way. I'm sorry..." His voice trailed off as he went limp.  
  
Estella gripped his collar harder, crying, "No, Merry, don't go like this. Don't do this to me. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to be buried together at the same time. Do you remember?" Her cries got louder until she was screaming his name over and over again, shaking the lifeless shell hard until his head flopped around uselessly. She felt large hands rest on her shoulders, and she turned around and cried into Aragorn's chest, who was kneeling down. He began to comfort her, rubbing her back as he looked at the still form behind her. He also thought, 'Why?'  
  
1 week later  
  
Estella looked bitterly down at the grave below her. Only 3 days ago Merry had been buried. Her Merry was underneath all of that dirt in a box cold and alone. 'Why, Merry?' She thought, 'Why did you leave me? You could have stayed, and none of this would have happened. We would be getting married right now.' Tears started to come, and she let them fall. She didn't care anymore. Then she heard a voice behind her, saying, "There was nothing you could have done. Merry was too far gone." She spun around to see Pippin, who had flowers. She spun around again, and whispered, "You don't understand what I'm going through." Pippin came closer and put his hand on her shoulder. "Estella, I know exactly how you're feeling." Estella gave him a skeptical look, and he continued, "You feel like you could have done something. I do too." Estella's face fell, and she started sobbing. Pippin went over to her and held her in his arms. They sat like this until Estella broke away and ran off.  
  
She reached the top of a grassy hill and sank to her knees, still crying. To her, everything was so different now. Just a few weeks ago she was happy and content, chatting and gossiping with the other women and just laying in the sunset with her love. Now nothing would ever be the same. She would never again be with her Merry. She would never be able to see his smiling face and twinkling eyes. She would never be able to run her fingers through his soft curls. Everything in her life was gone, except the pain and sorrow.  
  
She would never be whole again...  
  
Wow. Review please and thanx. Sayonara! 


End file.
